Team Work Makes the Dream Work Over the years of working at BEST Kids, I have always looked at everyone who is in the program as a team member. That includes mentees’ mentors, staff members, volunteers, board members, and advisory board members. When I estimate all of the people on our team we are about 185 individuals strong.
Every person on this team plays a valuable role. Each of us is giving mentoring a chance. I believe that mentoring means supporting and encouraging people to manage their own learning in order to help them maximize their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be. I have seen so many great examples of mentoring in our program by our team and it has perpetuated my beliefs in mentoring. The mentors in our program provide hope to our mentees and reviewing the monthly reports mentors contribute gives me hope as well. Mentoring, at its core, guarantees young people that there is someone who cares about them, assures them they are not alone in dealing with day-to-day challenges, and makes them feel like they matter. Research confirms that quality mentoring relationships have powerful positive effects on young people in a variety of personal, academic, and professional situations. Ultimately, mentoring connects a young person to personal growth and development, and social and economic opportunity. Mentors, as we continue to grow as a team I want to share these three tips that I hope will encourage you to keep being a great team member.
Thank you to all of the team members who help keep the program moving forward.
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Help your Mentee Express their Emotions When I first started with BEST Kids, I was the Youth Engagement Specialist. In this role, I was in charge of working with the male youth in the program who had yet to be matched. I served as their temporary mentor until we were able to provide them with their own permanent one. It was this effort, working one-on-one with mentees, that helped me cultivate my passion of supporting young boys transitioning into manhood.
Throughout that time I learned a few things that helped me get my mentees to open up to me - sharing how they felt about themselves and life in general. After transitioning over to the Mentoring Support Specialist position. I would hear things from mentors about how they have struggled with connecting with their mentee. I remember being asked “Do all youth in foster care have a difficult time sharing their feelings?” My response to that statement was or course not. Youth are humans just like adults. They all have the capacity to display a wide range of emotions. It just matters whether or not they trust you. Let me make this clear, youth that are in foster care are not always angry or sad. So if you have that expectation of them in your mind, I challenge you to get rid of that thought process. Here are a few steps I have adapted to connect with the mentees in the program: Draw parallels to movies or TV shows For many youth, movies and TV shows are one of the few venues in their lives where moments of interpersonal support and closeness are accepted. Concepts of emotional awareness are often key to successful relationships, and they can express empathy via insight gained through their own personal achievements or disappointments. This gives them an understanding of what their friends on the team may be feeling after a particularly rough day or experience. Nurture their curiosity Find opportunities to help your mentee reflect on the people around them that they care about. What do they like about them? What don’t they know but would like to know? Curiosity can be just as important in a friendship as empathy. Acknowledge the moments when they cry In your mentoring relationship with your mentee, allow them to cry in front of you, whether it is regarding a tough loss in their life or a friend said something hurtful, being there for them and willing to listen to what they have to say can be a big first step in getting them to talk about the underlying emotions. Help them recognize their friends’ boundaries It can seem like kids these days don’t interact with each other if they aren’t swapping friendly insults. This, though they may describe it as normal, can be an issue when someone pushes the envelope a little too far. Use these moments to explain that, if a friend seems to be upset or stops engaging, it may be time to cool it on the jokes. Give them an emotional vocabulary By expanding an emotional vocabulary, you are helping your mentee to better understand his feelings during particular events or exchanges. A good friend lets them borrow one of their games? That’s a demonstration of trust that he’ll take care of it and bring it back. Helping your mentee put names to these experiences can go a long way in helping them make sense of their own emotions and talk about them with others. Teach them to repair relationship rifts This one can be difficult, in that it may seem easier to just walk away from a difficult situation in a friendship. If your mentee is having friend troubles, talk to them about a time you had a difficult period with a close friend of yours. How did you resolve it and rebuild your relationship? You can help to set the blueprint for your mentee to follow. Adolescence and the teen years can be challenging and confusing for what seems like a million different reasons. By helping your mentee become more comfortable with their emotions and their connections to those around them, you can help to give them the tools they may need to experience healthy and happy friendships and relationships as they grow older. Hello BEST Kids Family,
This past year has been one of transitions for so many of us. Our mentors and mentees have transitioned between various stages of in-person and remote schooling and work. Our mentoring work has transitioned from virtual mentorship, back to in-person mentorship. And our organization itself is transitioning from the valued leadership of Executive Director Krislyn Mossman to an Interim Executive Director to help create a smooth transition - me. I'm thrilled to join the BEST Kids family as I, in turn, help BEST Kids transition to its next permanent executive director in 2022. In the meantime, I and the BEST Kids board and staff thank you for all you have done - and continue to do - making sure we provide meaningful, one-on-one relationships for our mentees with a trusted adult. I look forward to meeting many of you over the next few months and thanking you in person, as we all look to even more opportunities to get together with mentees and each other. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions or just want to say hello (you can reach me by email at [email protected]), and I'll keep you posted during this time of transition as we all soon welcome a new Executive Director in 2022. Sincerely, Ed Spitzberg As we start to see more fall foliage these days, I can’t help but reflect on this period of transition we find ourselves in. While some of our young people are getting used to new schools or new homes, some of our colleagues have taken on new roles and opportunities. In my own life, my wife and I recently became foster parents to a wonderful 16-year-old teenage girl. This last month has been full of incredible growth and learning as we support our foster daughter. Whether it is independent learnings skills like budgeting and money management to building healthy coping skills, there is no shortage of support needed.
As a new foster parent, I’ve been able to appreciate even more the importance of mentorship for our youth. A mentor fills a unique role as a positive adult friend who can provide a healthy perspective outside of the home. It truly takes a village to help our youth thrive! I can honestly say that I wish my child could have a BEST Kids mentor! :) Through becoming a foster dad I’ve learned I must draw deeper from the wells of compassion, patience, and empathy. Qualities that I recognize and admire in the inspiring individuals I interact with through BEST Kids. I’m always amazed by our dedicated mentors who demonstrate profound consistency through difficult times and shifting circumstances. Despite the changing of the seasons, the importance of mentorship for our youth is evergreen. Thank you to all our mentors, volunteers, donors, partners, staff, and board members for all that you have done, continue to do, and aspire to do in support of our youth! Back to SchoolThis past school year was unusual but after a long year of virtual learning our youth are finally heading back in person. As always, there are a lot of feelings heading into a new school year. Many of our youth are starting a new school, new grade, meeting new classmates and all of them are trying to get in the back-to-school mindset and cope with any anxieties or emotions. The pandemic put our youth and families through an extremely tough year but I’m hoping this new school year can be a fresh start for us all and allow us to revisit what is important for children and how we can best support their positive development.
May we continue to acknowledge their feelings, do regular chick ins and while the weather is still warm, provide that consistent in-person interaction. Let us all remember that success comes in many different forms and this year’s success may not come as easy as years past but let’s encourage our youth to find opportunities to do something positive whenever possible. COVID wasn’t the only thing that rocked our kids worlds but so did our many differences. During this year I’d like to help our youth understand the perspectives of other individuals and groups. This includes being respectful of race, religion, sexual orientation, age, feelings and ability levels – and how these differences can broaden ways of thinking and doing. There are so many lesson’s we’ve learned from this past year that I hope we are able to share with our youth to help guide them into their new normal. I’m optimistic that our youth will end their school year much different from last years and that we’ll be celebrating everyone’s graduations, honor rolls and championship games together. This won’t be an easy road and very may well be a bumpy one but no matter where their paths takes them, our support is essential to their success inside and outside of the classroom. |
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