So far this year has been a year like no other. From a landscape of political conflict to social challenges and re-education, from our daily routines and navigating personal goals, to legends passing away, and even worldwide pandemics, this year has shaken us all in some way. Can you just imagine how all of that has affected the young people we care about? Our youth have witnessed our subtle or extreme reactions to this year. They see the news headlines too. The youth absorb what they witness, and ultimately if we seem confused or hurt, they feel it too, but there is one thing we can do to model the right behavior during times like this ...stand united.
If not already, in times like these our mentees must become our extended family. Give your mentee a call, and talk to them. Perhaps play a game online together, spend time telling jokes and riddles, or send them an interesting or informative article via text or email. Let’s be vigilant in building the community we dream of despite our current challenges. Let’s remind our mentees that they are not in this moment alone and that it's okay to feel anxious. This can be a time to rest our minds, talk more, read more, love more, and rebuild a community that is united. Let this bring us closer together. Thank you for supporting BEST Kids, by supporting the youth at BEST Kids. Thank you for caring, and actually acting on that feeling. Stay safe, and no matter what let’s stay unified.
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Over 4 years ago I started working at BEST Kids and since then a lot of people have asked me what it is like to work with kids in foster care. Although I can’t share names I’ll tell them how proud I am of my “clients”, rattling off their accomplishments and highlighting some of the struggles they have overcome. Over the years I noticed that people have rarely asked how good their grades are or if they are headed to college. Instead they ask how they are doing or holding up or if they are being supported well enough. I don’t believe that they don’t think youth in foster care are more than capable of doing well in school or going to college but that when a family is split up the first thing a young person needs is stability. It made me realize that success isn’t always measured in the ability to move forward; sometimes it’s measured in the ability to stand still.
One of the most important things for kids is routine. All of the expectations for the next day, still being in the same house, still going to the same school, still seeing the same friends, all help them feel less anxious about the unknown and stepping out of their comfort zone. With youth in foster care the expectation is switched, their house, their school and by extension, their friends could all change with very little notice and every day is no guarantee that they will stay the same. That’s why I find the work at BEST Kids so important. With everyone and everything coming in and out of our youth’s lives, we all work to ensure they get a mentor that will follow them from house to house, school to school, through foster care and even afterwards. One person they can count on to be there when they say they are going to be there. While all mentors want their kids to do well in school and go to college they recognize their need for a sense of stillness, peace and routine. They spend time with their mentees helping them step outside of their comfort zones amidst all their own unknowns to discover that there can be bigger and better things for them out there. Even when everything is unknown we work every day to make sure that our youth know a BEST Kids mentor is one thing they can expect to stay the same. I saw the movie Just Mercy last week after reading the book over a year ago, both of which I highly recommend. As I read through all the stories of people unjustly caught up in our criminal justice system, it struck me how many of these people had history in foster care. I can't say I was completely surprised, but it further confirmed for me that the work we are doing is important. The mission of BEST Kids aims to provide our youth with at least one adult that they know is in their corner, regardless of what they are going through, good or bad. Mentoring is not always easy, especially given the high levels of trauma and instability our youth have experienced. However, from getting to know our mentors and mentees over these last 7 years, I've seen that mentoring can not only be fun and rewarding, but it is also one of the most impactful ways to support a youth and help instill hope in youth who have persisted through difficult circumstances with resilience.
As we celebrate National Mentoring Month this January, I urge to you consider how you can be part of the mentoring movement. Perhaps its becoming a mentor yourself with an organization like ours, or even just to a neighbor or other young person in your community. If mentoring isn't right for you at this point in your life, think about donating or volunteering to support organizations that make these relationships possible for youth who really need that extra support and guidance. We can all resolve to do better and to do more. Author of Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson, explains, "You ultimately judge the civility of a society not by how it treats the rich, the powerful, the protected and the highly esteemed, but by how it treats the poor, the disfavored and the disadvantaged." |
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